


Drunken Shenanigans

by FreyReh



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 08:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14444892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyReh/pseuds/FreyReh
Summary: Hook is given the task of dealing with a very drunk princess.





	Drunken Shenanigans

_note: i wrote this ages ago on ff.net. decided to also post it here. This takes place during S3._

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_._

_._

 

_"Bloody hell."_

His eyes fell upon the woman sitting somewhat unsteadily on top of a picnic table, bottle of something in her hand, looking disgruntled. Her blonde hair seemed even wilder with the light breeze and added curl. She wore her signature attire, the tight pants and boots that came almost to her knee and the red leather jacket she liked so much. She saw him approach and paused in the motion of bringing alcohol to her lips. He had just been on his way to order one of those cheeseburgers he liked from  _Granny's_ when Leroy had stopped him outside the door, begging him to do something about the drunken Savior a block away who had taken herself from the Rabbit Hole to the town square.

She saw him now and offered him a coy smile that made him swallow thickly. She looked ever much the minx he had dubbed her to be. She was a blasted siren, luring him in with her seductive smile and he was ever the gullible sailor: caught in her trap. Taking a deep breath his heavy boots traveled over the soft grass, his long coat billowing behind him. He stopped to watch her as she tipped her head back and took another drink of whatever delight was hidden within the brown bag wrapped around it. His eyes traveled to her working throat for the briefest of moments before falling on her legs which were swaying back and forth over the table's edge like a child's would.

"Emma, love, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Drinking!" she answered brightly, her attention now drawn to the stars instead of the bottle, her breath visible in the cooler air and puffing out above her. "It's a lovely night for it!"

"Aye," he said. "Perhaps you and I could find a more suitable place to continue your nightly festivities."

"Are you hitting on me?" she asked bluntly, looking at him now with glassed over eyes. She started tapping her nose repeatedly with her index finger, canting her head to the side and looking at him as if he were trying to pull a fast one on her. "I can smell your piratey ways from over here… The nose knows… You know?"

" _Right_. C'mon," he said, offering her his hand, the rings on his fingers gleaming as much as his hook from the light of the moon as well as the pole across the street. "Let's get you home."

"What if I don't _want_ to go home?" she asked childishly, kicking out a foot at his offered hand and almost falling off the table in the process, making him roll his blue eyes heavenward as if praying for patience. "I like it here!"

"People are staring, Darling," he said, offering his hand again. "We both know how much you hate it when they gossip about you. Imagine the stories they'll tell tomorrow of the drunken princess making a spectacle of herself in the park late at night."

"I don't care," she said with a shrug. "Let them talk! They already talk about how I'm a princess and, and… Stuff…"

"A bloody princess getting pissed drunk is what you are," said Hook. "C'mon, Lass, let's get you tucked into bed."

"You gunna join me in bed, Hook?" she asked.

Her words had him tensing, a stabbing jolt of arousal hitting him deep in his belly and he took a calming breath before meeting her playful green eyes with his serious blue.  _Gods_  she was beautiful, and any other time he'd be taking her on that offer, but now?

"I'm a man of honor, Swan," he said seriously. "When I take you to bed I want you to remember everything I do to you. I want you willing and coherent and not stumbling about."

"Ah, yes," she said, cupping her face with her hand, biting her lower lip before speaking. "Those  _other_  pleasurable activities you like to do with a woman on her back."

"Aye, now-" She waved her hand at him and he jumped, good hand immediately going to his rear as a stinging pain blossomed over his right butt cheek. "Oy! Did you just-"

"You've always been an ass," she said with a grin, eyes traveling over his bottom. "And what an  _ass_  you have, Captain."

She had used magic to slap him on the-bloody hell! This woman was putting him through the wringer tonight! The minx! Oh, when she was good and sober he was never, EVER letting her live this down. He would remind her till the day he died of the time she slapped his arse using her magic while completely  _schnockered_. He wanted nothing more but to grab her, lay her out on the grass, and have his way with her but now was NOT the time.

"Emma-"

"Shhhh!" she said, waving her hand to silence him and he snapped his mouth shut in slight surprise. He couldn't remember the last time someone has the audacity to shush him. Once again, his Emma was throwing many surprises at him. "Sometimes you open your mouth and I'm stuck between the decision to punch it or kiss it."

"I'd prefer the later," he said.

"Oh, so would I," she purred. Bracing her free hand on the table she adjusted her position, placing the bottoms of her feet on the bench seat. She'd done too much kicking with them. She was getting tired. Taking it slowly, Killian walked closer and mirrored her position on the table, turning his head to stare at her. He was patient so he waited until she finally looked up at him, a sight to behold while cradling her bottle in her lap. Her large eyes held many emotions, the forefront being sadness. "Mary-Margaret is pregnant."

"That's lovely news," he said, pulling a bunch of her curls behind her shoulder, fingers lingering in the soft tresses.

"I'm a horrible,  _horrible_  person," she said, frowning deeply, eyes swimming with tears. "I should be happy for them but all I can think about is that as soon as that baby comes I'll be tossed aside and… And I don't think I can go through that again."

"They love you, Emma," he said, hand rubbing the space between her shoulder blades. "You know that. They won't forget about you. Just the other day Dave was insisting on spending more quality time with you and teaching you everything he wanted his daughter to know. Like how to properly wield a sword because Lass, you need some work."

"Hey! I've done just fine, thank you very much!"

"Tell that to my face," he muttered, thinking of the time she'd nearly sliced into it at Neverland when pulling her borrowed sword out of its scabbard. At her confused look he brushed her off with a wave of his hand. "I'll speak of it another time. Emma, know this, they love you and will not abandon you again. Yes, they have another on the way but do not think for a moment that they will turn their backs on you. I saw this fear on your face in the Echo caves and I hated it as much as I do now…" He put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. "They love you. Believe in that love. Would you ever abandon Henry if you were expecting another child?"

"Of course not!"

"Then trust that they won't either."

"Dammit," she muttered, dropping her head down to her chest. "Why do you always say the right things?"

"Oh I don't know? It's a talent I suppose."

"It's annoying," she muttered, rubbing at her eyes with one hand and setting the bottle down with the other. "I'm tired… But I don't wanna go home. They're there and happy and I know what you said. I heard what you said but…" She looked at him and he felt a pang in his heart. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Emma," he said breathlessly, hesitation evident in his posture.

"Please?" she asked, biting her lower lip, looking more vulnerable than he'd ever seen her before.

"All right," he said, relenting. Like he could ever say no to her.

"Great! Stand up!" He did so, expecting her to follow. He just about went face first to the ground when her weight suddenly smashed into his back. She giggled, legs wrapping around his middle and arms winding around his neck. Emma Swan, Savior and Sheriff, was demanding a piggyback ride from Captain Hook. "Carry me!"

"You just about sent us both to the ground," he complained, securing his arms around the legs curled around him, mindful of his hook, and hunching forward slightly. "Who knew you acted like an impish pixie while searching for the bottom of a bottle?"

"Mph…" She muttered against his neck, biting it playfully, almost sending him to his knees for the second time in less than a minute. "Don't be mean. I'm tired and you're supposed to be a gentleman! Don't drop me!"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

.

.

.

Emma groaned while blinking her eyes open then immediately slammed them shut. She buried her face in a pillow that smelled of leather and musk with a hint of salt and she frowned deeply because it was NOT her pillow she was snuggling into. Carefully she popped open an eye and saw faded white paint, a simple table with a set of chairs that have seen better days, and a shelf filled with old books and stacks of maps.

She recognized Hook's cabin, having slept in it with Henry curled against her side on the way back to Storybrooke. It was a bed meant for one person and Emma had to wonder just where the pirate Captain had spent the night. Carefully she maneuvered out of bed, legs wobbling for only a moment as her bare feet hit the floor. She searched and found her boots and jacket and slipped them on. Taking a peek out of the windows framed by intricate carvings of mermaids she saw it was a bright and sunny day and she scowled as memories of the night before assaulted her brain.

From the panic she felt after David and Mary-Margaret told her about expecting, to making her excuses and hitting up the Rabbit Hole, and finally ending up taking her bottle with her into town. Finally, there was Hook…She had practically thrown herself at him and though a part of her was grateful for him being a gentleman another part of her felt rejected. It was stupid, she remembered what he said about wanting her to REMEMBER what happened their first time in bed together and-OH GOD! She had used magic to slap him on the ass!

"Never again," she vowed to herself. Whiskey and depression were a bad combination. She was lucky she ended up here in the end and not sprawled out in a gutter or something. Fishing in her coat pocket she found a spare hair tie and bundled her hair up atop her head while heading to the main deck. The sea air did wonders, making her feel refreshed: though she would kill for a toothbrush.

"Mornin' Sunshine," said Hook from behind her, mischief coating his words, making her tense before slowly turning to face him. She wouldn't back down. She wasn't about to act like a coward in front of the man that despised cowards most: even though everything in her being was demanding she jump ship. "Sleep well?"

"I did," she said, watching him as he eased from his spot at the helm down to where she was. She raised a brow at him when he offered her a large styrofoam cup of coffee that was clearly from Granny's. "You got me coffee?"

"Aye," he said, digging into his pocket and pulling out a bottle of painkillers. "Ruby said to give you this as well."

"Ruby is a saint," said Emma, snagging the bottle. She felt a headache forming and wanted to squash it down. She popped three pills, swallowing them down with the coffee that was still hot enough for her standards. "Thanks."

"Please tell me you remember everything that happened last night," he said with a hopeful grin, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"What?" she asked, playing dumb. "I don't even remember how I  _got_  here."

"Liar," he said, a challenge in his eyes. "You remember... I see it in your eyes…" He leaned in, invading her space. "You remember all the naughty little bits, don't you Swan?"

She blushed, looking down at her coffee. The curve of his hook pressed under her chin, making her look up, unable to hide from his penetrating gaze. Her eyes widened as he leaned down, his warm lips pressing against hers. She gasped and he took advantage, his devilish tongue dancing seductively against hers. He pulled back, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose and finally to her forehead.

"Though I would love to ravish you this lovely morning, I ran into your parents. They are quite worried, especially since half the town recounted their version of the drunk princess being carried to the villainous pirate's private quarters in the wee hours of the night."

"You're kidding me," she muttered, rolling her eyes heavenward. Small towns. You couldn't get away with anything!

"'fraid not," he said, grimacing as he rubbed his jaw. "Your father is quite protective of you."

"He didn't hit you again, did he?" she asked, thinking nothing of it as she reached up to press her palm against his jaw, the stubble sharp against her soft hand. When she did realize what she had done she'd been ready to pull her hand away but his hand quickly went to cover hers to trap it before he twisted his head to press a kiss into her palm.

"He tried," said Hook. "I then quickly explained what had happened and how I left you in my bed ALONE…"

"I better go find them before they assemble an army and storm your ship," she said, finally taking her hand back, immediately missing his touch to the point that she jammed it into the pocket of her jacket.

He nodded, hand coming to the curve of his hook, twisting it like he usually did while deep in thought or incredibly nervous. This was her chance to leave, to quickly go and be done with her actions the night before but something had her hesitating. It was his turn to look troubled and he had been there for her last night. He could have walked away or even dumped her off to her shared apartment. He had been there for her so it was her turn to be there for him.

"What is it?" she asked, shifting from one foot to the other. "I can tell you're holding something back."

"Ever the observant one you are," he said with a sad smile, looking up at her. His eyes reminded her of the violent sea storm on Neverland, the ripples of emotion making the air crackle around them. He opened his mouth a few times, only to close it again and when she felt her patience start to wear thin he finally voiced his thoughts. "We've been back a while now and I know you asked that I keep my inner desires to myself until normal routine was established. What I'm asking is… Would it be too forward of me to ask you to return later on tonight for dinner?"

"I…" She closed her mouth with an audible click, at a loss as to what to say. He was asking her over for dinner? Not long ago she'd been thinking about jumping his bones and here the ever deceitful pirate was asking her out on a date. Then, everything clicked, like when she kissed Henry to break the curse. Everything that hadn't been making sense before cleared, like clouds rolling out of the way of the sun. She smiled, no longer ignoring her impulse to touch him by reaching out to grasp a lapel of his jacket, fingering the leather before looking up at him. "Okay."

Relief washed over him and she smiled brightly, leaning up to press a quick kiss to the side of his mouth before rushing off the boat. She was half way down the dock when he shouted her name and she stopped, looking up and shading her eyes against the brilliant sun to see him standing on the edge of his boat, hand on a line to keep his balance. He looked more like the young and dashing Royal Guard Lieutenant than the fearsome Captain Hook.

"What?" she asked.

"Right at sunset?"

"I really need to get you a watch. What time is sunset? Six?"

"Aye, I believe so, and I do have a watch," he said with a smirk. "I would just rather you come at sunset, or right before if you prefer to watch it with me."

Could he get any more cheesy-romantic-comedy?

"Okay, I'll be here at sunset," she said. "Just… Don't do anything too crazy, all right?"

"As you wish," he said with a bow before hopping back onto the sturdy deck of his ship and a smile tugged at her lips at the use of that all-too-familiar line.

 _'Romantic comedy indeed…'_ she thought.

Though a part of her enjoyed it.

**END**


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